i've spend the night pretending i'm someone i'm not. roleplaying on furcadia. it's been years and years since i roleplayed. a nice way to forget about how much i hate myself and my struggles, to pretend to be a beautiful creature in a fantasy world.. its just amazing. i missed it, that's for sure.
haven't eaten anything today. might change soon. i'm going to give the ABC a go tomorrow. i keep trying and failing hard, but this time i'm determined. no matter how lazy i feel i *will* workout tomorrow, i *will* eat 500cals or less. i *will* do this every single day until i emerge from this chrysalis a beautiful, stunning butterfly. i'm tired of being this fat nasty caterpillar.
two more days until payday. fuck i need money. i'm so tired of running out of pot and then popping pills everyday to get a buzz so i can handle my sad, lonely life. i wish i had friends, someone to hang out with. instead its just me and the internet every single day while he works. i'm so lonely.
*is lonely too* I spend most of my day cleaning house and sitting online. So, I feel ya. Good luck with the ABC. I just finished completely fucking that up and am back from a bitch of a binge. Lol. Anyways, take care.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the ABC.
ReplyDeleteI get you on the lonely thing. i can be out and about with friends and still feel lonely. It's pretty effed up.
Gosh pay day should be everyday right? It's a pain waiting all the time...
x