Sunday, November 7, 2010

fuck me.

i feel like a bag of shit. i keep looking at old pictures of myself, wondering where that pretty, skinny girl went. how she could possibly have turned into this. i can't believe i let myself go this badly.. i'm so scared to go out in public..

going to dad's today to get some percocet. i have no money for pot so at least they give me a mild buzz to make it through the days. five days til we get money. i hate the week before payday. we're always fucked. one week of happiness, one week of being broke and miserable.

hopefully things will change when i quit pot at the end of the month. we should have hundreds of dollars more each cheque..

how do sober people live? i'll soon learn.

3 comments:

  1. Ugh looking at old pictures of myself always makes me feel like shit too. Hey and I think it's great that you will be trying to quit pot at the end of November! Good luck with that! I wish you the best :)

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  2. i've been sober for almost a year and i live pretty good ;) it's a long tough road, but worth it.

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  3. Oh I know just how you feel, I feel like I'm insulting people by dragging my hideous body out and letting them see it, I think quitting the weed's a great mood, I'm sure you'll do really well :)

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