huh.

i haven't blogged in a long time.
a lot has happened in the past few months.

- jason has been unemployed since november.
- i quit smoking pot and went into a rehab program.
- had an allergic reaction to hair dye, painful two weeks.
- started smoking pot again due to painful reaction stated above.
- jason might have a new job soon.
- went to see lady gaga in concert last night, had a blast.
- going to quit smoking pot again in a day or two.

i'm totally broke and panicking about it.
i don't have enough money to buy smokes for this whole month..
a food bank should be delivering food in a few days.

frustrated as all fuck.

for fuck's sake

prepare for a rant.

so jason's parents are rich, very rich. they make 500k a year.
they used to help us when we needed it, paying our bills, buying us food, etc.
today we call and ask for help FOR THE LAST TIME and we get 'maybe'.
apparently we'll find out tomorrow.
if they decided to screw us then jason's credit will be fucked.
all of our services (tv/internet/cellphones) are in his name.
and if we can't pay we get sent to collections.

so these rich cunts won't help us and we're pretty fucked.
his mom said she'll talk with his dad tomorrow.
i'm almost positive it's going to be a no.

we have no money for anything, we're miserable and sober.

times like these make me want to down all my seroquel and just fucking end it.
this life i live has always been awful, i've never had a break.
poverty and stress for twenty-three years.

just strike me down now, this is unfair.